WEBSTER, NY — In a stunning display of political enthusiasm without any actual information, residents across Western NY have filled their yards with signs urging others to “Vote No on Prop 1,” despite not knowing what it actually entails. According to a recent Innerloop Blog poll, 99% of residents with “No on Prop 1” signs admitted they hadn’t read the proposal, explaining they’re simply “staying on the safe side” based on what they hear in their Facebook feed.

Signs across town are emblazoned with demands like “Protect Parental Rights,” despite the amendment having no impact on these rights at all. For example, New York law already requires parental consent for minors receiving medical care, including gender-affirming hormone replacement therapy and surgery—something Prop 1 wouldn’t change. Yet Western NY residents remain convinced that a “Yes” vote would unleash radical change.

Seeing an opportunity in this frenzy, a local yard sign company has started cashing in, creating increasingly bizarre anti-Prop 1 messages. “We noticed pretty early on that folks weren’t actually reading about Prop 1,” said Phil Marchese, owner of Marchese Printing. “So we figured, why not cash in?” His latest signs include demands like “Make Boss Sauce Thicker” and “Arm Wegmans Asset Protection.”

Marchese admits he’s actually for Prop 1 since it only strengthens existing anti-discrimination protections, “but I only get to sell yard signs in election years and graduation season, so I gotta strike while people are ignorant and loud.”