Uncle Fails to Buy Bills Training Camp Tickets, Gets Drunk at Nephew’s Football Practice Instead

Rochester, NY – Local uncle and self-proclaimed Buffalo Bills superfan, Bob Thompson, found himself at his 8-year-old nephew’s football practice instead of basking in the glory of the training camp. Unable to secure tickets to the coveted practice sessions at St. John Fisher College, Thompson decided to drown his sorrows in a six-pack of his favorite beer right there on the sidelines.

Sporting his legendary tailgating apron, complete with sauce stains from games gone by, Thompson unleashed his uninhibited enthusiasm on the unsuspecting child athletes. The parents sitting near him originally thought his Interpretive dance moves, slurred motivational speeches, and off-key singing of Bills’ fight song were cute, but it quickly got sad.

“He kept on calling my son Josh,” said Tyler Heathenrow of Henrietta. “The worst part is my kid doesn’t even play quarterback.”

Thompson’s nephew, Timmy, who plays offensive lineman for the team, was seen desperately trying to disassociate himself from his overenthusiastic uncle. “I understand why Grandma and Grandpa told me he’s their least favorite,” Timmy muttered, clearly embarrassed.

Mr. Thompson says he plans to jump on Bills Training Camp tickets much sooner next year but he told us that as he was wetting himself so we find it tough to believe.

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