Study: If the 7th Innings of Red Wings Games Did Not Exist, Most Rochesterians Would Never Stretch

Rochester, NY – A shocking new study has found that if it weren’t for the hallowed tradition of the 7th inning stretch during Rochester Red Wings games, a majority of local citizens would never bother stretching at all. In fact, if the city’s minor-league baseball team did not exist, almost 95% of all Rochesterians would go from the last gym class of their senior year to the grave without stretching.

The study, aptly titled “Stretching: The Elusive Art of Movement in Rochester,” meticulously examined the stretching habits of the local population. Researchers were astounded to find local residents were only stretching out while “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” was playing in the background.

Dr. Al Fleximus, the lead researcher on the study, expressed his astonishment, saying, “We expected some degree of stretching apathy, but we never anticipated such a dramatic dependency on the 7th inning.”

The researchers were even more astounded to find zero people have participated in Wegmans micro stretch breaks in the past decade.

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