Local Man Opens Windows To Let Fresh Air In And Four Months Of Accumulated Winter Farts Out

Rochester, NY – Like many Rochesterians, Albert Manigen wanted to take advantage of the warmer weather and get some fresh air into his home. Mr. Manigen opened up his doors and windows but couldn’t help but notice his next-door neighbors screaming “oh my god, what the hell is that!”
As we get closer to Spring, this is a phenomenon that our area will be experiencing more and more. Homes that have been closed up tight to keep their warm air in over the winter have also been accumulating an even more potent type of hot air. That which comes from an anus.
Scientists call it the “Western NY Cropdusting” effect and while farts are indeed hilarious, this is no laughing matter. This release of built-up farts into the atmosphere is said to do as much harm to the ozone layer as the methane emissions from almost all of the cattle farms on earth.
“Everyone wants to blame cow farts from global warming but the real ‘inconvenient truth’ is it’s actually the humans eating garbage plates and drinking Genny Cream Ale that is tooting away the ozone layer,” says climate scientist Glen Greeneth.

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