Man Tired Of Meeting Drunk Women At Bars Shotguns Ten Beers, Goes To AltBar Event 

Rochester, NY – Everyone knows that AltBar produces events for sober people, sober-curious people, athletes, and douchebags who think they’re better than you, but what about eligible bachelors who are tired of talking to drunk women at bars? The answer is, “absolutely.” We went to an AltBar event at an undisclosed location where we caught up with one of these grade A studs.

“Drunk chicks ramble on and on about bullshit, bro, it’s like “We gonna f*ck, or nah?”” Colby Rogers told an Innerloop reporter. “They can’t hold their booze and just talk about bullsh*t like climate change. I’m done with drunk chicks. So tonight I decided to shotgun ten beers at home and meet some sober babes here… You have a Marb Light, bro? Or a garbage plate?”

Later that night, Rogers was kicked out of the event for trying to sneak a piss under the bar. The Innerloop has not received word about whether or not he smashed.

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