Rochester Receives A+ Rating for Crime and Binge Eating

Rochester, NY – While Rochester has recently scored a D- rating for practicing social distancing, we can rest assured that our great city is still making strides in other areas.

We’ve just received word that Rochester has been granted an A+ rating for crime and binge eating.  This is an honor for a city that was once known for Kodak and Arthur Shawcross.

If Rochesterians know how to do anything right, it’s being able to get murdered at any moment and eating ourselves to the point of extinction with a greasy platter filled with carbs and shame.

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