Shoplifters Gather for Candlelight Vigil at Greece Ridge Mall

Greece, NY – It was just announced that Rochester-area malls could be reopening their doors as early as next week and that’s simply not fast enough for local thieves.

A group of local shoplifters has gathered in the parking lot of Greece Ridge Mall to create a candlelight vigil to honor all of the clothes they’ve stolen from the Aéropostale and weird penis-related paraphernalia at Spencer’s Gifts.

“We hope that one day soon we’ll be able to get back to work ruining the days of local teenagers working parttime in these stores,” said one local bandit.

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