Rochester, NY – “We’re fully aware that the only way that our newspaper is going to make a comeback is if start getting into silly putty again” one D&C source told The InnerLoop Blog.

A staple of the 1950-80s, silly putty is a moldable substance that could be used to make illegal copies of newspaper images when pressed against them.

“It was a lot of fun to take a picture from the paper and make it fatter by stretching it out,” said one local boomer. “We didn’t have the internet so that was like our TikTok I guess?”

In the hopes to speed up the silly putty comeback, the Democrat & Chronicle has been bribing the National Museum of Play to put the mystery substance into their Toy Hall of Fame. “The hope is that people will want to buy the silly putty for one-dollar and pick up our paper for 50 cents. Oh my god, I just realized the news is worth less than a pile of goop. Yikes.”