Local Dad Goes To Vape Shop For New Cartridges; Never Returns

ROCHESTER, NY – According to local mother Skye Walker, whose parents clearly never imagined that name on an adult, her husband Kyle has recently gone missing following a trip to his local vape shop.

“He was just headed out to the corner vape shop for a fresh pack of cartridges,” says Skye, who has somehow never seen a Star Wars movie. “He’s got a son at home. I hope he’s found soon.”

According to neighbors, things in the Walker household were not always as harmonious as they may seem.

“I saw when Kyle stormed out,” says a neighbor who wishes to remain anonymous, but is frequently seen peeking through her blinds. “They had been arguing about Robert Pattinson being cast as the new Batman. Kyle insisted that nothing could top Christian Bale’s performance, and left in a blind rage when Skye suggested that there hasn’t been a good Batman since Adam West.”

As per usual in these instances, Kyle’s son was an afterthought.

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