Rochester, NY – Tired of waking up without diarrhea?  Genesee Brewery and CoffeeMate have you covered with the new ‘Genny Cream’ for your morning cup of joe!

“It has everything you love about Genny Cream Ale. A smooth feel, a refreshing lager taste, and an ABV of 5.10%. Oh and it will make you have the Genny Screamers as well!” said brewmaster Bruce Juice.

For those who are unacquainted, the ‘Genny Screamers’ is the nickname for the side-effect of drinking Genny Cream Ale where you are forced to stay near a toilet for the next day because you will unexpectedly have to fire off a tidal wave of liquid poop with a force that can only be matched by the mighty Genesee River.

Local beer snobs are excited. “It’s not the ‘best part of waking up’ it’s more like ‘the only reason I actually get up’ you know?” said a local alcoholic who is also my stepdad.