Charlotte, NY – Things are looking up for local resident Brett Avery, 41, who just woke up from a fourteen-year coma.  Doctors at Highland Hospital are amazed at the sudden change in the condition of this former Blockbuster Video employee, who had lapsed into a coma after totaling his car on the Inner Loop near East Avenue in 2005.

The then 27-year-old Avery had been speeding on his way to the Port of Rochester to catch a ride on the now-defunct Spirit of Ontario.

“I was saving up for months to get that ticket to Toronto.  How long have I been out?” asked a confused Avery.  “I’m sure they’ll take my ticket.  Maybe I can ride the Spirit of Ontario II now!  Right after I grab some lunch at Cheeburger Cheeburger.  I should really call my boss first and make sure I still have my old job.  And I never got to see Revenge Of The Sith. I heard that was gonna be awesome!”

It seems Mr. Avery isn’t completely in the clear.

“Frankly, we’re contemplating putting him back into a medically-induced coma,” says Dr. Robert Moss.  “The shock of seeing Rochester in 2019 might be too much for him to handle.  Not to mention the rest of the world.  I just overheard him complaining about the last episode he saw of The Apprentice.  Poor guy doesn’t stand a chance.”