LAYOFF WARNING: Apple Farm Now Entirely Staffed By Instagram Couples

ROCHESTER, NY – It’s fall which means sweaters, pumpkin spice, and seasonal depression. However, The Innerloop Blog’s business insiders are saying autumn’s new hottest trend is young couples unknowingly becoming slave labor.

“The boss gathered all of the seasonal farmers one day and told us to go home and never come back,” said migrant farmhand George Millsbeard.

Several of Rochester’s biggest apple farms are now completely reliant on the unpaid work of couples picking apples on Instagram.

“From a business standpoint, Instagram is the best thing to happen to our dividends since sharecropping!” said a local apple farm owner who wanted to remain anonymous. “We noticed that while these kids are trying to take the perfect picture, they’re plucking apples at the same clip our best field workers. So what we did was just harness their DO IT FOR THE GRAM energy and sell their runoff apples.”

The farm owner says his profits are at an all-time high and that the hashtag #ApplePicking has been the best recruitment tool since illegal immigration and Home Depot parking lots.

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