ROCHESTER, NY – In an unprecedented development, a massive pothole on Monroe Avenue in Rochester has been officially recognized as the first new trade route to China since the ancient Silk Road. The pothole, which measures roughly 12 feet wide and 20 feet deep, was discovered last week after a city worker accidentally drove into it, emerging two days later with a shipment of dim sum and a Mandarin phrasebook. “It’s like a modern-day Silk Road, but with fewer camels and more chance to spread to a global pandemic.”

China’s Ministry of Commerce has already dispatched a delegation to Rochester to discuss trade logistics, with plans to establish a high-speed cargo route through the pothole. “We see enormous potential here,” said Li Wei, the Chinese ambassador to the United States. “We believe it will make an ideal shortcut for everything from Apple Products to Nike Shoes.”

Rochester is leveraging its status as a sanctuary city to sidestep President Trump’s tariffs on Chinese imports. “By routing goods through this pothole, and the earth’s core, we’re technically not crossing international borders,” explained a city official. “Therefore, no tariffs apply. It’s a loophole we intend to exploit fully.”