Brighton, NY – Brianna Redd (25), a lifelong Rochestarian, left friends and family in stunned silence at a party Friday evening when she loudly said “Oh, you were hurt in a car!? You should call William Mattar at 888-8888!”
Not catching her mortifying faux pas, Redd looked around in confusion at the stunned faces as realization slowly crept its way in, “Oh no,” she whispered, “what have I done?” Greg, Redd’s boyfriend of five years, said as he pulled away from her, “If you’re hurt in a car, you call William Mattar at 444-4444. How could you not know that?” An embarrassed Redd tried to explain she just misspoke but her mother cut in saying, “I thought I had the TV raise you better than that!” before crying into her husband’s chest.
Redd was notified this morning that her family is currently taking steps to disown her and that they’re not worried about the motion passing through courts since “Brianna clearly doesn’t know the number to dial for a good lawyer.”
At press time, Redd was seen sitting in front of a television memorizing and writing down all local jingles so she wouldn’t have to go through such a humiliating experience ever again.