New Law Requires Every Garbage Plate Sold Before Noon To Include Therapy Referral

Rochester, NY – After a groundbreaking new study found that 100% of people consuming Garbage Plates before noon are among the most depressed in the nation, a new bill has been passed requiring all restaurants serving up a plate to provide mental health support.

Currently, a referral to a licensed mental health professional is required to be either printed directly on the go-to container or to be readily available by whatever sad cashier is working the lunch shift.

Soon the law will require all restaurants selling plates to have a therapist stationed at the counter and riding along with any delivery driver to perform a mental hygiene check on any Rochesterian willing to consume 4000+ calories during regular business hours.

Patrons who are visibly drunk, stoned, or hungover will be able to avoid the mental health requirements of the transaction.

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