Rochester, NY – The telecommunications company formerly known as Spectrum rebranded itself on Monday, in an effort to compete with Tom Golisano’s “Greenlight” company for control over the Rochester fiber internet market. Now known as “Gaslight”, the internet giant will reportedly be offering fiber optic internet service to nearly twelve households in Monroe County.
“We’re passionate about bringing affordable, high-speed internet to the community,” a spokesperson from Gaslight said at a press conference. “While some have criticized our service as spotty or sluggish, we think they’re just absolutely crazy. They should have their reaction times checked out at a doctor. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with our network.”
While some Rochester residents welcome the competition, others are worried that Spectrum’s inconsistent pricing and predatory sales tactics will remain in Gaslight’s business repertoire. At press time, however, Gaslight dismissed these concerns as “the ramblings of the truly deranged.”