Rochester, NY – As reported by multiple local news outlets, there has been a coronavirus outbreak in Rochester that can be traced back to Dragonfly Tavern on Park Avenue. What the press has been neglecting to report, however, is the abysmal dining experience that COVID-19 had at Dragonfly.

COVID-19 left Dragonfly a one-star Yelp review, along with some scathing comments:

“I ordered a rum and coke that was brought to me by a smelly white man with dreadlocks. I took a sip, and I might as well have been drinking chilled urine. Then it was time for appetizers, and the garlic knots tasted like they were deep fried in diarrhea. I don’t know why, but I stuck around for the entree – the “Dragon Burger,” which appeared to be made from the ground testicles of actual dragons. The only upside was the hot bartender there. I can assure you, though, I will not be back.”

We have yet to reach Dragonfly for comment, but a reliable source told The Inner Loop that owner Rob Henderson has offered COVID-19 a full refund, $50 gift card, and a place to stay, which is actually just the hot bartender.