Pittsford, NY – In a Buffalo Bills training camp surprise, your Dad’s 30-year-old Zubaz pants announced they’ll be returning for another season of NFL action!

The grizzled veteran took the podium today to say their excited for another year of protecting your Dad’s junk and can’t wait to get back to work with their favorite teammate (the 20-year-old Bills winter jacket your Dad wears that has zero insulation at this point).

The announcement stunned football analysts. Ted Bruisermen told The InnerLoop Blog “Can they even still play? Look at them! They’re stained with nacho cheese and wing sauce, they’re tattered at the bottom from years of being dragged around Western NY, and where is the drawstring? That’s been gone sine 99′ yall!”