ROCHESTER, NY – Let’s all agree. Those thunderstorms of green lightning that opened the hell-mouth tunnels beneath East Ave and Alexander made a lot of inconveniences for a lot of citizens. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the massive stock lost in Axe Body Spray buyers and monthly subscribers to Rugby Butts Monthly. The walking regenerations of decaying flesh-eaters that emerged from the fiery gates came out hungry and fierce.

Shortly after the first swarm of savage, tactical, and ravenous sapiovores came the intellectual ruling class of the zombie social structure. As it turns out, there was a methodically laid plan that the subterranean consciously deceased leadership of the zombies developed over 8 seasons of FortNite. That’s like 50 fortnights.

The soul-displaced commander cadavers appear to have had molecular dimensional connections with The Inner Loop staff and fellowship. The scientific community will later discover the only common connection between the zombies and The Inner Loop board members is that all involved are dim-witted pea brains. This forever marks a great collaboration and day of change for The Inner Loop blog team and the zombie elite class, which will still continue to spread out misinformation, misleading claims, and misery-inducing cynicism.