Last week, in a transparent attempt to capitalize on social trends, we here at the Inner Loop blog posted several articles about Pokemon GO. Being the savvy social satirists we are, we posted two articles about Team Valor and Team Mystic respectively. These articles parodied the trend among GO players to playfully knock rival teams online, using playground name-calling and not-so-clever memes.
It is with deep regret that we acknowledge that we failed to post such an article about Team Instinct. Honestly, we just sort of forgot there was a third team. Admittedly, Team Instinct is pretty forgettable. They have some lame leader that spouts about Pokemon’s feelings and their mascot is basically an electrified Big Bird. Also, they only account for like 1% of the player pool, so they are easy to miss.
Despite these facts, our failure to ridicule them on our internet blog is inexcusable. It was a gross oversight, and frankly we are ashamed. Team Instinct players deserve to be overly offended in a Pokemon Go Facebook group just as much as Team Valor and Team Mystic. The knowledge that we robbed them of that experience is a heavy burden. A burden we must live with.
So, to Team Instinct, we are sorry. We should have made fun of you. We should have made some asinine comment about how Instinct players are those guys who say their dogs are people too. Or some half-hearted play on words about how if you had any “instinct” at all, you would have chosen a better team. We should have done all this but we didn’t. We can’t go back in time and fix our mistakes, so now all we can do is say we’re sorry.