Vladimir Putin Caught Illegally Downloading Inauguration; Immediately Pardoned

St. Petersburg, USA – The GOP is fighting strongly against allegations that President Donald J. Trump has offered a pardon to Russian President Vladimir Putin. Putin was identified in a multinational downloading scheme. There, his username was confirmed to be “BackInTheUSSA” citing the hit The Beatles record that Putin is on record saying “I love that song [Back in the USSR] because it remind me of childhood. Its also kind of pun on my username on internets.”

Sources claim there have been no reports that Putin would face any disciplinary sentencing, but no one told that to President Donald J Trump. The newly inaugurated President took to the streets shortly after hearing the news. Wearing only his Presidential Onesie that Melania lovingly stitched “Unimpeachable” along the ass. He managed to climb up to the host stand of The White House Bar and Grill and proclaimed “My first act as President will be to pardon ol’ Putty for whatever thing he just told me to do.”

The President then denied reporters and passersby the chance to ask questions saying, “that’s all I want to do tonight. I have a new job on Monday.”

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