BUFFALO, NY —Following yet another gut-wrenching Bills loss, one local fan reportedly began watching full Sabres games “just to feel something worse.” Witnesses say the man, still wearing his Bills hoodie and emotional bruises, told friends he wanted to “put things in perspective” by watching a team that’s been rebuilding longer than most of its players have been alive.

Within minutes of tuning in, the plan worked perfectly. “Watching the Sabres fail to score goals was oddly soothing,” the fan said. “Sure, the Bills can’t move the ball, but at least Josh does something cool once in a while.” He described the experience as “like putting on emo music and just giving in to the sadness completely.” The sight of empty seats and half-hearted power plays reminded him that “things could always be sadder.”

The man says it’s working so well that he plans to purchase a Sabres season ticket package, as long as he can overlook the fact that both franchises are owned by the same person, and how that’s definitely not a concern at all.