Rochester, NY – Bill Gray’s has been telling everyone in Western NY that they are the home of the “World’s Greatest Cheeseburger” for years but that all changed today.
In a stunning upset victory, our hometown burger chain defeated the Martian burger giant ⋔☊⎅⋏⏚ ☌⟒☍⟟. Their restaurant had previously held the title for almost 50 Earth years thanks in part to their special brand of burger patty. Martian meat comes from the beef-like substance that surrounds their planet’s core.
“While the Earth’s mantle is a layer of silicate rock, the core of Mars is actually surrounded by something delicious,” says astrophysicist Fennic Thorgum. We previously thought it was inedible like the majority of Bill Gray’s menu but the Galactic Burger competition proved us wrong.”
For years Earth was not invited to the universe’s premiere burger-judging event despite being the only planet hospitable to cows. According to a statement by the competition, this was because our planet “covers the cooked carcass of a dead animal with the coagulated juices out of the same creature’s teets.” The act was deemed too barbaric for the competition until this year when a judge vacationed in Rochester and ate at Bill Grays.
The new “Universe’s Greatest Cheeseburger” will replace the “World’s Greatest” title that Bill Gray’s won back in 1940 at a globe-wide cooking competition when no other restaurant showed up.