Rochester, NY – With the St. Patrick’s Day parade cancelled for the second year in a row, Rochester man Derek Morgen has decided to try and recapture some of the glory at home.

After trying to figure out what really makes the parade so special, Morgen decided it really comes down to one thing. “Getting hammered drunk while the sun is out and there are children nearby.”

For some reason, Rochester’s St. Patty’s parade has always been an odd mix of drunk 20-somethings that started drinking at 9am and families of young kids who have been sitting out in the cold since 7am trying to get a good spot to watch the mediocre floats.

“I chugged a bunch of Guinness while my neighbors kids were out playing catch,” said Morgen. “It felt just like I was back on Main Street again!”