Locals Dump Only Green Trash Into Genesee River in Honor of Saint Patrick’s Day

Rochester, NY – After being overtaken with jealousy with Chicago’s tradition of dying their river green for St. Patrick’s Day, Rochesterians have taken celebrations into their own hands.

For today only, the folks living near the river will just be littering green products into the Rochester waterway. To clarify, this doesn’t mean “green” in the sense that their good for the environment. We’re seeing products with green packaging floating in the river like Sour Cream and Onion bags, Mountain Dew cans, and Applejacks boxes.

The Innerloop Blog reached out to city officials to ask why we do not dye our river green and we were told that scientists have ruled that dye is “far too healthy for the local fish to process through their gills.” Apparently after years of swimming in pollution the local aquatic life needs to have water that’s at least 99% pee and trash.

Fun fact: “99% pee and trash” is also a recent review of the Innerloop Podcast. Check it out at www.Patreon.com/innerloop

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