Rochester, NY – It was announced today that Rochester’s oldest movie complex the “Cinema Theater” will be closing indefinitely due to the COVID restrictions. While there is no certainty on what will happen to the business in the future, the Innerloop Blog as gotten word that the owners will be liquidating some of their assets.
Their biggest money maker will reportedly be a government contract they’ve signed in regards to the floor of their theater.
“This cinema has been open since 1914 and it’s seen its fair share of spills,” said Army Contractor Pete Whither. “We’re planning on scrapping up some of that vintage goop and sticky-what-not to use on our supplies.” According to tests, the adhessiveness levels to the floor actually exceed most military grade products.
NASA has also been in contact to buy some of the gum stuck underneath the theater’s seats to use on their rockets.