Greece, NY – This year, the Times Square Ball will drop in front of the smallest crowd ever. Every year since 1907, the ball has dropped at midnight to ring in the new year – a tradition that Greece resident Jake Helmstead has had enough of.

“I’m sick of it. The people in New York are always so happy. It’s disgusting. The ball is so shiny and beautiful. That’s not how life is. Life is ugly,” Helmstead told an Inner Loop reporter. “I’ve been saving all of my trash since August, and making a ball out of it. At midnight on New Year’s, I’m going to drop it off the roof of the Mount Read Boulevard Tops. All are welcome, and fights are strongly encouraged.”