Rochester, NY – After Rochester festivals were canceled, all the local women that enjoyed hula hooping during every single free concert, whether the music called for it or not, thought that their summer was over. But RG&E is putting their non-stop hip gyrations to good use.

“We’re tired of Fairport Electric getting all the good press, so we’re stepping up our energy game,”  said one RG&E rep.

The hula hoopers will be fed a steady diet of kettle corn and blooming onions and have Rusted Root’s entire discography played at them while they spin. The hoops themselves have been rigged to transfer the energy directly into the Rochester grid and it’s been said “one hippy can power an entire home during ‘Send Me On My Way.'”