Rochester, NY – Last Saturday, history was made on the Rochester bar scene. Lindsay Reese spent all day drinking on East and Alexander, and by closing time had not lost anything.

“It was amazing, from what I remember,” said Lindsay’s friend, Chloe Tanner. “I lost my phone in the early afternoon at Locals Only, then Heather lost her wallet at some point, and Rachel was missing a shoe when we woke up the next morning, but Lindsay had everything. No one could believe it, including Lindsay.”

“I usually lose at least an earring when I drink all day,” said Lindsay. “I don’t know what got into me Saturday, I was completely wasted, but I guess I brought my A-Game.”

We asked Lindsay “What’s next?” She replied with a smile, “Same old stuff. Going to get sloshed with my besties on E and A again this weekend, and hopefully not lose anything.”

At press time, Lindsay is drunk at her nephew’s eighth birthday party. Her mother is trying to convince her to start going to AA meetings, but Lindsay just keeps saying “Don’t hate me ‘cause you ain’t me.”