Albion, NY – “Well dang, if it wasn’t just the worst week ever,” Garret Jacobs of Albion told The Inner Loop Blog. “First, they go bannin’ my favorite flag and then my favorite Nascar racer says he’s calling it quits. What’s next, they gon go and take all da guns outta looney tunes?
Garret was especially distraught because he and his girlfriend were expecting and he had surprised her by painting the nursery ‘rebel flag’ colors. “All I want is for my child to be raised right. Ya know? I want that little sponge of a mind soakin’ in all that imagery so she can grow up to hate other people for no reason too.
When asked if he intended to keep the baby’s room painted that way Garret responded, “Does a bear shit in the woods and then take all the other woodland creature’s jobs so that we got to build a big ol’ wall to keep em’ out?’ We think that means, yes.