Rochester, NY – Bill the rhino, a resident of Seneca Park Zoo since 2007 is now leaving for greener pastures. ‘A lot of people say it’s because Bill is getting older and they need to bring in some younger rhinos, but let me tell ya, that ain’t the truth of it,’ a zookeeper that preferred to remain anonymous told the Inner Loop Blog.

‘The real story is that Bill got caught horn deep in another female when he was in a committed relationship with Moki, the elephant. This kind of shit happens all the time over here, baboons boning sea lions, penguins beaking lemurs, it’s a regular safari orgy’

Bill will be moving to a zoo in Colombia, South Carolina. ‘I’ve heard good things about those rhinos down in SC, real horny… don’t ask me how I know.’