Penfield, NY – A massive chain-reaction pileup on aisle 5A in Wegmans late Friday afternoon left dozens injured and at least two dead, authorities said.
Over 26 shopping carts crashed after long-time friends, Ashley Smith and Dave Miller, just happened to run into each other while running errands.
“It was just so unexpected,” Ashley told reporters, “I haven’t seen Dave since our yoga class at the Y last night and I just had to know how his kids were doing.”
Jacob Thomas, 32, was picking up a bag of potato chips on his way to the checkouts when he suddenly heard enthusiastic squeals coming from two women at the end of the aisle. Thomas told reporters that by the time he looked up to see them excitedly embracing each other, it was too late.
“I heard one of them asking about their kid’s hockey tournament in Webster next weekend,” he said, “that is when I saw the first cart collide into boxes of microwave popcorn.”
As more shoppers entered the aisle, Thomas said that some people tried to politely get their attention, but they were too busy discussing the details of Ashley’s upcoming family vacation to their timeshare in North Carolina’s Outer Banks.
The ensuing chaos caused more and more shopping carts to crash, pinning many under vast quantities of produce and canned goods.
“I thought I may have heard screams of anguish,” Ashley said, “but I just assumed it was coming from the Wkids babysitting area.”
Fortunately, Ashley and Dave were able to fully catch up as paramedics tended to the victims.
“I have never seen so much carnage in all my years,” one paramedic recalled, “it was difficult to separate the injured from the large Family Packs of ground beef.”
This comes just days after 3 shoppers were critically injured after being run over by an elderly woman gunning it out of frozen foods on her motor scooter.