Red Wings “Spikes” Newest Hero to Join Marvel Cinematic Universe

ROCHESTER, NY — The mascot for Rochester’s Minor League Baseball Team, Spikes, has been invited to join the Marvel Cinematic Universe, following the organization’s condemnation of bigots upset about last season’s “Pride Night” at Frontier Field.

“Once we saw their comment back to that dumb guy about having a ‘straight day’ we knew we’d have to sign Spikes.” Said Kevin Feige, President of the Marvel Cinematic Universe since 2007, “I mean I know the Red Wings are just exhibiting basic human civility and morals by supporting a marginalized community, but their response was so beautifully well articulated, not to mention peppered with the perfect amount of shade, we had no other option than to offer Spikes a multi-movie franchise contract.”

The new addition was welcomed well by the members of the MCU across the board, including Chris Evans, Marvel’s Captain America.

“I am absolutely thrilled that Spikes signed with Marvel. We could really use another ass-kickin’, steel-balls swingin’, die-hard American patriot on the team.” Said Evans, sipping a neat glass of Maker’s Mark, “I couldn’t believe he would grace us with his presence. Shit, if his fight moves are half as strong as his debate skills, we’ll all be in for an incredible show.”

Spikes himself was at a loss for words about his new role off the field.

“Sure, I’m honored that they asked me, and yeah, I’m going to do it.” Said Spikes, standing on Frontier Field’s first baseline dugout. “I just don’t really see what the big deal is, I mean, what I said wasn’t anything revolutionary, really. It’s just being a decent human being, and I’m not even human. I’m a bird.”

“If a bird can be a decent human being, than I feel like humans can do it too.” He continued. “Some folks just need a little help finding their way to be just that.”

At press time, Spikes was seen knocking home runs out of the park, fireworks ablaze, guzzling an ice-cold Genny over home plate.

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