ORCHARD PARK, NY – A frenzied Sean McDermott was seen in a team meeting screaming at his players to avoid the “fake news” that the team has a bye week to rest before their next game.
“I don’t know if Belichick is working with George Soros or what but there is no way we are not playing a game this week. It’s a distraction to get us to forget to show up and end up 4-2!” Mcdermott shrieked as he covered the room’s windows with tin foil and collected cell phones from bewildered players.
“The Patriots play a Thursday night game so those bastards have nothing better to do than unravel our supposed week off by asking their buddy Goodell to schedule a game for us. It’s a damn deception, you guys have to believe me!” Mcdermott continued, pleading with coaches to barricade the doors and show film of CFL teams who could potentially be surprise opponents on Sunday.