Rochester, NY – In an exclusive interview with The Innerloop Blog the Alien in charge of flying the First Federal Saucer as a last resort means of escape told us how relieved they were the Area 51 raid was unsuccessful.
“For a while, we really thought 2 million people were going to storm into Area 51 and blow up our spot. I was going to have to fire up this flying saucer and honestly I don’t know if it even works anymore. The humans used it as a restaurant for a while and I am pretty sure cooking at this altitude messed up our guidance system” said Baglorpazorp from Beta Sigma 9.
“I called my buddy Zaglorgian that lives inside of Festival Guy’s skin and was all like ‘be ready to get your ass to the ship’ if these people get into Area 51 and find our cool-ass stash of weapons. Luckily no one got in and I can go back to probing dudes in the public bathrooms near Durand Beach. You’d be surprised how willing they are!”