Rochester, NY – Some festival thing is going on in the city or something, some disinterested parents from the suburban Henrietta and Penfield neighborhoods announced in a press conference held early this morning.

“Yeah, I guess it’s an arts festival, or maybe a music festival. I forget what it’s called,” said Trish Lehrman, 46, in an exclusive interview. “Is it Jazz Fest? No, that was in July. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll go.”

The announcement comes as another in a series of economic hits to Rochester at a time when festival attendee influx from the suburbs is a key part of the city’s economic reform.

At press time, every suburban parent in the Rochester metropolitan area had already made a reservation to eat at Applebee’s on the night they thought this festival thing was, anyway.