Bartender Tired of Disposing of the Bodies of Tourists He Catches Eating at ‘Locals Only’

Rochester, NY –  The staff at the popular eatery Locals Only are thinking about staging a walk-out after management forced them to take their “For Locals, By Locals” too seriously.

“It seems like once a week now we get some tourists coming in to try out the local cuisine and after we double-check their license we have to murder them for not being a local” said bartender Tommy Foolsbar. “Nobody like’s doing it but it has to be done.”

Due to a weird New York law, since the restaurant states that they openly discriminate against non-Rochesterians via their signage, they’re allowed to take the life of anyone that doesn’t reside inside of Monroe County.

“Our hands are tied,” said Officer Gladerbock. “All we can do is open the start a Visitors Only to make things even.”

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