Penfield, NY – Per sources in the community, a Penfield resident requires exactly 2 beeps from his key fab lock to be sure that his car is truly locked.

Local used car salesman and paranoid owner of nothing interesting, Darren Sommers, agreed to sit down with us to discuss the story:

Inner Loop – “So Darren, can you tell me more about when you became concerned with your security?”

Darren – “Well, it all started with me not wanting anybody to steal my sunglasses,” (Darren points to the “O” for “Oakley” on the sunglasses that he’s wearing even though this interview is indoors). “From that standpoint, it was incredibly important to me that nobody be able to get into my car.”

IL – “I see. And, when was it exactly that you arrived at two beeps?”

D – “Well, just hitting the lock button isn’t enough –”

IL – “Of course”

D – “Of course. And then there’s the single beep, which is supposed to mean that the car is locked, but I like to double check”

IL – “I see. And you wouldn’t do 3 beeps because…?”

D – “Well that would just be gratuitous”

IL – “Of course.”

D – “Of course.”

IL – “So, Darren, let me ask, has anybody ever tried to steal anything out of your car before?”

D – “Well, nobody has stolen anything yet.”

IL – “You may want to look out the window. This is a three beep neighborhood.”