The Puerto Rican Festival Turns 50 and Won’t Stop Cat-Calling Younger Festivals

Rochester, NY – This year, the Puerto Rican Festival celebrates its 50th birthday and it’s as horny as ever. The PR Fest took some time out of its busy schedule of swimming in pools with its shirt on and driving around white neighborhoods blasting reggaeton out of Mitsubishi Lancer decked out with a giant flag with a frog on it to let us in on some of its all-the favorite festival cat-calls.

Lilac Festival

-Hey beautiful, I know you tired from waiting all day in that kettle korn line.

Let me Li-Lick those feet mami.

(please don’t shame me for my fetish)

Glass Fest (Corning)

-Ay pretty, you call this Glass Fest, to me it seem more like Ass Fest!

(PR fest admits he wasn’t feeling inspired that day)

Rochester International Jazz Festival 

-Well damn look over here! You know what sex and jazz have in common?

I don’t get either!

(please I’m very lonely and insecure)

Sterling Renaissance Festival 

Ay yay yi, I’m bout to get medieval up in dat booty girl!

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