ROCHESTER, NY – Yet another new restaurant has failed less than a year after opening and guess what; it’s your fault for not knowing it existed in the first place.

Cafè Luna Bella Whatever has closed its doors just months after opening to little to no reception from you or your friends because you failed to read a Yelp review because you were too busy going to Good Luck because everyone talks about it, you lazy son of a bitch.

In a few months, another place that replaced this place you’ve never been to will close too and you’ll have no clue until the D&C runs another business closings article because you are a close-minded, Applebee’s 2 for 20 loving suburban twat.

Sincerely,

The elite yelper that enjoys $14 happy hour craft cocktails alone