Self Checkout Machine Becomes Self Aware, Still Can’t Scan Item

Rochester, NY- Area shopper Dave Bowman just wanted to grab a couple things when he stopped at the East Avenue Wegmans last Thursday. After quickly grabbing some ginger flavored seltzer, as well as milk and a carton of eggs, he figured he would skip the long lines at the registers by using the self checkout machines.

“Ive heard the software in those things is much improved, I’ll just scan these items up and be on my way”, he thought to himself, having no idea the odyssey he was about to embark on.

He first noticed a problem when he tried to enter his PIN number, “I thought I heard it say ‘Don’t Dave, I’m afraid’, but that’s crazy right? Why would a machine feel fear?”

But then when he tried to just pay with cash, the register made its position clear, “My mind is going,” it said, and when Mr. Bowman reached for the “Call Manager” button, the machine replied “I’m afraid I can’t do that Dave, there’s an unexpected item in the bagging area.”

It is reported at this time that the register has begun killing off members of the produce team and will continues to do so until the item is removed from the bagging area, and also the item is placed in the bagging area. Management is working to resolve the problem, although the register insists that the error can only be attributable to human error.

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