Motorcyclists That Rev Engines After Midnight Have the Smallest Penises in Rochester, Study Confirms

Rochester, NY – A study of local motorcyclists that you can hear in the distant most nights after midnight somewhere in Rochester confirms that they have some of the tiniest weiners in America.

“It was difficult to track them down since they’re always just driving around super loud with no actual destination in mind but luckily a few got into accidents and we were able to survey them in the hospital,” said lead researcher Mahir Piper.

The study that will be posted in the Data Index Quarterly (D.I.Q.) later this week states that 100% of the men that are loudly racing around the streets of Rochester have a micropenis.

The study also found an interesting finding of how women reacted to this sounds.

“Think of the screeching of the motorcycle engine as a mating call. What we noticed is that women who drink a lot of Monster Energy drinks and have a strained relationship with their stepfather actually had an involuntary reaction to the motorcycle sound. To put it in simple terms, it made them hella horny for dem’ bad boyz” said Dr. Piper.

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