IRONDEQUOIT, NY – A move to avoid having unsupervised kids running amok in their park will have unintended consequences.

The new chaperone policy will require anyone under 18 to have someone 21 and over with them, which is bound to include a lot of sleazy dudes who date girls going to Eastridge.

“Yeah it’s a great day for people like me!” Said Dalbert Corndoggle, a 26 year old middle school dropout currently between jobs due to as he said “Obama and 9/11”

“There’s not a lot of places I can take Trisha without getting dirty looks, so the fact that she needs me to get a ride on the Jack Rabbit is pretty dopesauce.”

After that comment Dalbert told us he had to go because he was meeting up with his buddy Randy to do salvia in the culver ridge plaza parking lot.