Webster, NY – While former Prime Minister Theresa May was unsuccessful at separating the United Kingdom from the European Union, the councilmembers on the Webster Town Court believe she is the key to successfully negotiating Penfield out of their area code.
“We’re tired of those dirty Penfielders thinking that the Wegmans on Bay Road is theirs. It’s ours. We have two. Get over it,” said one Websterarian.
There has always been an unspoken tension between Webster and Penfield. Most especially when it comes to Empire Boulevard. By hiring Theresa May they are hoping to establish that all businesses on Irondequoit Bay up to MacGregor’s are actually Webster’s once and for all.
“It’s not like we want all of them dead. Just one as tribute obviously,” said some Webster women named Katie or Meghan or something whiter.
Oh what the fuck. I got to the office, opened my laptop, and this shit was right here. How am I supposed to get anything done today now that my mind is swirling around WEXIT? Who will the tribute be? Becky with the good hair?
I heard Webster and Penfield will have their strongest Karen’s meet on Empire to fight to the death…