Giant Turkey Leg Makes Local Man Virtually Irresistible To Nearby Women

Rochester, NY –┬áLilac Festival patron, and otherwise-not-outstanding white guy, Kyle McDaniels was struck with the unsuspecting gaze of potential mates today as he was seen eating a massive turkey leg directly off the bone.

Choosing not to grab napkins, the lust-inducing drippings of once-living meat we’re caught in Kyle’s beard which reportedly making him “irresistible” to onlookers, who would have otherwise rated him “about a five out of ten”.

“The smell of freshly cooked meat just woke something up inside of me,” said Emily O’Shaunessey, uncontrollably tugging at her dreads. “It’s like, I know that physically he’s ‘just okay,’ but watching the primal way attacked that meat. Let’s just say I hope I’m next.”

Reports went on to confirm that Kyle’s sex appeal peaked as he crushed an empty I.P.A. can against his forehead, which many women noted was “totally against the rules,” and “sexy, but in a Russell Brand kind of way.”

Reports went on to indicate that once the turkey leg was finished, an insatiable crowd marched on the concessions tent, demanding that the turkey leg vendor prepare shelter and bear them children.

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