Witnesses Can’t Decide If Downtown Runner Is Jogging or Fleeing Crime Scene

Rochester, NY – “He was wearing none of the clothes you usually see people jogging in and it was 1pm on a workday,” said one on-looker today as a young man jogged past her on the streets of Rochester.

It’s a situation that many of us have run into downtown. Is this person running to better themselves or are the fleeing something?

Here are some things to consider when looking at a runner in Rochester:

  1. If they do that weird jogging in-place thing at an intersection they’re trying to get exercise. They could also have to poop and remember these are not mutually exclusive.
  2. If a man is wearing compression pants undershorts, he is a jogger, or worse, a crossfitter. If it is a woman wearing gym clothes, she could be a jogger, or she just could be going to work, class, or to a funeral. Women have decided it’s ok to wear stretchy-pants all the time and it’s 2019 so we have to be supportive.
  3. If there are police sirens nearby please give it a minute before making your decision. Just a reminder that there are police sirens going on at all times of the day in Rochester so it doesn’t mean anything.
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