Local Mom Says She “Only Wants to See Family on Mother’s Day” but Secretly Hopes to Get Rad Gifts

Webster, NY – Local Mother Ruth Barber has told her four children there will be no gifts required at this year’s Mother’s Day. Mrs. Barber told them she only wants to see the family and that time spent with them is the best gift of all.

Mrs. Barber has told us here at The InnerLoop Blog that this is now the 20th year in a row that she’s fed her family this lie. “It’s an annual tradition where I guilt my kids into buying me some super dope shit. They think I am being humble but they know deep down that I want all dem’ gifts.”

“In the words of Admiral Ackbar, it’s a trap!” said her husband Ron Barber before going into an unforced speech about how they did Ackbar dirty in the Star Wars movie.

“We all know she wants some cool shit. I wish she’d just say what she wants. She hasn’t talked to our son Danny since he actually thought she was serious and didn’t bring a gift to brunch.”

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