Rochester, NY – It’s elaborate Wegmans Flavored Seltzer Water Display season, and this year, it’s serious.
RPD officer Sherielle Tony stopped into the East Ave Wegmans on a break to get a sub and noticed a message reading “Send Help” in the front seltzer display.
“At first I thought it’s probably a prank but I checked behind the display to make sure. I couldn’t believe what I had found,” said Officer Tony.
Behind the display was a hatch that lead officers to a fully functioning drug operation underneath the convenience store.
“We had no idea it was there,” said Wegmans Manager Fred Gorgenhousen. “The drug slaves working down there must have escaped with just enough time to set up the plea for help before sneaking back down the hatch before anyone noticed.”
According to local officials, this underground drug facility was making a highly-addicting, mind-altering substance known on the street as “Danny’s Fav.” It tastes like Italian Deli Meats and a “Drug You Feel Good About.”
3 thoughts on “Plea for “HELP” on Wegmans Seltzer Display Leads RPD to Major Drug Bust”
This is the dumbest article I’ve ever read. Also the dumbest marketing tactic I’ve ever heard of.
I appreciate the support, Lauren!
Dammit, Lauren, don’t marginalize the deli meat mules! This is the biggest bust RPD has ever made since their encounter with David Bowie!