U of R Scientists Close to Developing Abbott’s Frozen Custard That Doesn’t Melt in 5-Seconds

Rochester, NY – The InnerLoop Blog was able to sit down with UR Scientist, Richard Holbart who after years of research and development is on the verge of a huge breakthrough.

Innerloop: So let’s start by introducing you to our readers. What are some of your other advancements in food?

Holbart: Well, You may know me from my work on Rochester’s own Garbage Plate. I worked tirelessly on developing one that gave you just the right amount of diarrhea.

InnerLoop: And my bowels thank you for it. Now, let’s talk about your inspiration for your current research.

Holbart: Well, one summer day not too long ago I was down at Charlotte getting some Abbott’s with my family. When I was handed my chocolate almond cone I noticed that it was already melting onto my hands and I yelled, ‘What the fuck is this?’ I apologized to my family for my vulgarity and went right to work on developing frozen custard that wouldn’t pull that bullshit. Interloop: I know I speak for the rest of Rochester when I say, thank you and I look forward to a summer of Abbott’s that isn’t more like chocolate gazpacho.

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