Rochesterians Believe in Global Warming and Wish It Would Stop Taking Its Sweet Time, Study Confirms

Rochester, NY – In the recent wake of low temperatures, The Innerloop Blog conducted a study to see whether or not Rochesterians actually believed in Global Warming.
“Yeah, I believe in it” Alex Holmes of Fairport reported, “and I’m counting on it, I don’t want to move to Florida!” Alex told us that he uses aerosols by the caseload to move the process along. “Oh yeah, I just spray em’ all day!”
Justin Wolcott of Hilton believes in it too. “Hey man I just bought a pool and I need a longer goddamn summer. Yeah, sure it’s above ground but does that matter? Daddy likes to get wet.” Justin told us he’s been running his car for 3 weeks straight in hopes that he’ll burn a hole right through the ozone layer.
Our poll found that 99% of Rochesterians believe in Global Warming and are looking to move the process along. Only one respondent who owns Zoom Tan, and wanted to remain anonymous, reacted poorly to Global Warming stating “I hate it! I don’t need people getting brown for free!”

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